FAQs • RAQs • NAQs
Whereever we Jumbo Circus Peanuts go, folks get to axing us the same questions. Those we call Frequently Axed Questions (FAQs) and they are answered below.
Then we see you out there in small groups, whispering things with your hands over your mouths and pointing at us. We know you are repeating Rarely Axed Questions (RAQs) to yourselves because you are not yet secure enough in your own esteem to risk axing one of us what you think might be an embarrassing question. Or you're just new to the whole JCP Experience and don't yet realize that we are one of the only Legendary NH Superbands that is friendly. (Or, maybe you just don't speak American really good and you're talking to another person who don't speak American so good.) Anyway, we put in some RAQs below for those of you who can read American pretty good.
Lastly, there is a group of Never-Axed Questions that we know you are wondering about but probably only come out in the type of dream sequences you get the night after a root canal. Some of those NAQs are also included below, as a public health service.
If you have a question, e-mail it to email@example.com and next time we update the Web site we might include it here.
Q) Is that a man or a woman?
Q) I've noticed you have a wide range of skill levels in your band, from self-taught beginners to experienced professionals. You seem like a nice bunch of people who really have fun together. I played clarinet, oboe and alto flute in high school...
A) Is this going somewhere?
Q) Can I play with your band?
Q) How about sing?
A) One song for $1000.
Q) How many people have been in the Jumbo Circus Peanuts over the years?
A) Do you really care? I mean, come on. But, so long as you're doing the asking, 26, not including multiple personality disorders. The complete all-time roster includes active members Tim Griffin, Mike Wise, Dan Curtis, and Edie LaFrance-Brindamour, trombones; John Prendergast, Carol Woodman and Greggie Vail, reeds; Todd Robertson, trumpet; Chip Brindamour, bass; Spidy Blout, guitar; Gene Guth, xylophone, trap set, keyboards; Curt Mackail, Nords, and Paul Wolf, drums. Alumni include Roger Goldenberg, Mark Weatherby and Derek Ahl, trumpet; Jon Bailey, trombone; Tom Hersey, guitar; Marbet Wolfson, saxophone; Dennis Randall and Tony Gallo, drums; Herb Cameron, Dave Bailey and Scott Houston, bass; Fred Hoyt, banjo; Matt Jensen, piano and Bruce Cameron, conga drum and unfiltered cigarettes.
Q) What's the best way to serve Spam?
A) Grilled and cubed, on toast points with Dijon mustard.
Q) Is there any song you won't play?
A) "Y.M.C.A." by the Village People. Anything by Jimmy Buffet. Sorry, Sting is out too. Some of us cannot stand Peter Frampton. Billy Joel, forget it. Same for Neil Diamond.
Q) Has anybody in the band ever had the gas tank rot out in their car and and then hooked up the fuel pump to a gas can in the back seat, riding around like that for an extended period of time?
A) Yes, Paul Wolf, the drummer.
Q) Where do you guys get your outfits?
A) They're tailored by a convent of blind nuns who live on an abandoned farm in Vermont.
Q) Your band is so tight and knows so many songs! Do you have strict rules regarding rehearsals and attendance?
A) Yes. If you miss one rehearsal, you're out of the band. If you miss two rehearsals, you're back in the band. Also, see a neurologist immediately because you obviously have some form of musical dyslexia.
Q) How much do you weigh collectively?
A) In 2004, when this question was asked, we weighed 2,260 lbs buck naked. Since then we have added new members and have also consumed approximately 1.6 million useless calories. We currently have an estimated collective weight of 2,720 pounds (in street dress with boys' regular haircuts.)
Q) How much would it cost to hire you to play my wedding?
A) Quite a bit if we don't know you. Half-price if you ever dated a Peanut. About $300 less than that if we kind of know you and you're having steak and lobster. Not much at all if you ask us the right way. Occasionally we'll reduce the price to beer and chicken for no apparent reason.
Q) I think you're the greatest cover band in the world. Every time I see you I hear something that surprises me. What new material can I look forward to in the future?
A) "Pictures From An Exhibition" by Modest Mussorgsky, Anne Murray's "Snowbird," "Me So Horny" by 2 Live Crew, "My Pal Foot Foot" by the legendary Shags, and a medley of tunes made famous by Fat Albert And The Cosby Kids.